Forensic Shopping Investigation II: Shopping For Religion

Posted Aug 12 in Opinion, Work tagged Auspol, Church of Scientology, cult

When I was 16 my friend Cam and I went out one night shopping for a religion. Well, we were not really shopping for a religion, as much as minding our own business when we were accosted by scientologists on the street who coerced us to come inside their ‘church’. I remember it very clearly.

I walked past the ‘free personality and IQ tests’ sign, and into a shabby makeshift building, and asked the shabby lady behind the desk what the COS was all about. Guess what she said? Yes, the classic a) do the personality test, b) watch a video, c) I get the results. Good to see their recruitment methods haven’t changed in over 20 years!

I completed the questionnaire and was ushered into a small, black room where I watched a video in surround sound on a very large screen. The video was beyond imaginable cheesy (like a send up of a cult recruitment video). It was hosted by a Ken doll impersonator, and showed lots of well dressed, shiny, white toothed Americans, smiling to camera. It’s painful to recite how bad the movie was – pure propaganda, talking up L Ron Hubbard’s many achievements (he was “fully proficient in 59 different fields”), and demonstrating the opulent assets of the COS. Just one of the silly quotes was:

“Psychology and psychiatry are proven failures…stone age” (said in a melodramatic voice, by a camp looking professor)

Anyway, bad video. The fun really stops when I got my test results back. Just like last time I am told I have a very bad personality (at least the test shows good test re-test reliability – joke). Diane takes me through my results – you can see the table below. According to the test the three scales that are about ‘Me’ show that I am completely Unstable, very Depressed, and very Nervous. The scales to do with ‘Work’ show I’m Active and Aggressive, and totally irresponsible. And the last scales, how I relate to ‘Others’, show I’m very Critical, and have a Lack of Accord with others. This was Diane’s cue to tell me how depressing my life was, and how much I needed help. Any resistance I put up to this was met with – “well your personality shows you are aggressive so of course you are not going to agree.” The circular conversation lasted an hour or so, and would have gone on all night if it had to as Diane had one objective only – and that was to make me feel bad about my life so that she could provide the answer and sign me up.

This was not nice, in fact – it was very confronting. She told me her personality was ‘Clear’ (she had a good one) – but my personality was so bad that it needed “urgent attention”. Mainly to get a break from her I asked to take the IQ test. I’ve always been good at taking IQ tests (this correlates highly with getting good IQ scores) so I knew if the IQ test marked me as a dullard then the whole thing really was bogus. Interestingly the IQ test came back quite high. This made me happy (and smug) but didn’t do much for my relationship with Diane. She immediately reminded me of how unhappy I apparently was and insisted I sign up (and pay for) now for a 2 day course happening that weekend. The course was only $135.00. Bait.

1. Language loading: Changing language to make it unique to the cult (i.e. ‘clear’ and ‘auditing’)
2. Demand for Purity: You’re in or your out, and if you’re out you’re wrong. In their own words if you don’t do Scientology it’s your choice but “…it’s a stupid choice. You can also jump off a bridge or blow your brains out”.
3. Confession: Admitting something bad that’s happened to you. This promises to set you free but in effect binds you to the group (They really wanted to know about the loss that happened dusing my childhood!)
4. Doctrine over person: Their worship of L Ron Hubbard
5. Sacred Science: The belief that their belief is right for all humanity

Also, for the record I’m a relatively happy, stable and calm person (albeit a little weird). I’ve taken many scientifically validated psychological tests in the past (through training, and professional interest) and all point to a significantly different personality profile than the one suggested by the COS. I believe the personalty test they offered was designed purely to make oneself feel bad about their current life.

It must be said I came into this shopping investigation with an open mind, yet also a preconceived notion of what COS may be like. So, to provide some genuine objectivity to the situation the good (and rigorous) people at Auspoll, put some questions forward to 1,500 Australians representative of the general population. They found that 85% of Australians do not believe the COS is a real religion.

Further, 76% agree it’s a ‘money making scam’ (only 4% disagree with this statement), whilst 89% disagree (or strongly disagree) that it’s a good religion to join.

So there you have it. After my experience I would avoid the COS if at all possible. I would read up on cults, and I would look at websites such as Wikipedia or Operation Clambake (so named as L Ron Hubbard believes that man evolved from clams!) The Scientologists’ website is here and offers a different perspective. Looking for a religion to buy/join feels even more potentially dangerous than trying to cure penile dysfunction. The only person I’ve found who educates well on the subject is the man who married me (to my wife), Father Bob McGuire. If you’re in a cult (or know someone who is) and want out, then contact Raphael Aaron at Cult Counselling Australia.

Comments

1. Katie Harris

   Aug 13th, 2009

   Hi Fritz

   Another fascinating, scary post.

   Thanks for putting yourself in there/out there to bring us these insights.

   

2. Zac Martin

   Aug 13th, 2009

   Very interesting post again Fritz, this is going to be an awesome series.

   A few years ago me and a mate headed into their city "church" bored one day to see what it was like. Didn't have to take the test, but they did sit us down in front of a video and showed us the numerous books we could purchase to help us become better people.

   They were quick to usher us out when I suggested their leader was a fiction writer who once said something along the lines of, "If you wanted to get rich, you'd start a religion".

   

3. Daniel Oyston

   Aug 13th, 2009

   Hey mate, I don’t have anything to add to the conversation but just wanted to leave a note that I love reading these. Fascinating.

   

4. Fritz Bachen

   Aug 14th, 2009

   @Katie thanks, and yes it was rather scary. Forwarned is forarmed!
   @Zac Cheers. I think there is something different going on between Melbnourne and the rest. Melbourne do not seem to be as big on the whole personality testing thing. Especially compared to Sydney and Perth (where I had my first experience)
   @ Daniel thank you very much. They are interesting to do.

   

5. Anonymous

   Aug 15th, 2009

   Nice work. These guys are a cult pure and simple. They'll take your money and ruin your life.

   

6. Carolin Dahlman

   Aug 15th, 2009

   Great post, It would be interesting to know more what psychologists and hypno therapists think about the methods used. They must be efficient since the church is big and growing?

   I think it's a shame belief in God etc get damaged by the cults. More people would feel peace in some kind of global love or warm energy. "We live in a material world…"

   I listened to Hillsong church on tv this morning and they are not as pushy. I went there once when researching places with a lot of emotions and it was just like a rock concert They talked about happiness, not depression.

   Well, anyway, very interesting blog. Thanks.

   Carolin Dahlman
   Love-branding.com

   

7. Anonymous

   Aug 16th, 2009

   That's a fascinating read. I've never been a Scientologist, but I'm involved in protesting CoS abuses with Anonymous.

   The guy in the video you were shown who says "You can walk out the door and away from Scientology. Of course you could also blow your brains out or take a dive off a bridge" – or similar – is Larry Anderson. And he has JUST become gone public as having left Scientology.

   I happened to be in LA recently and had opportunity to be at the first public gathering of ex-Scientologists attended by Larry. I asked him how it feels to be out. He had the broadest smile on his face and said it just feels great.

   

8. Heather

   Aug 16th, 2009

   @Carolin, surprisingly, census data and market research doesn't bear out Scientology's own figures.

   The latest Pew Forum figures for Scientology in the US are so low that they put them together with the Wiccans and Pagans in the New Age category (I had private correspondence with a Director of Pew Forum), a group of about 25,000 people:

   The Survey: "a new nationwide survey conducted from May 8 to Aug. 13, 2007, among a representative sample of more than 35,000 adults in the U.S., with additional over-samples of Eastern Orthodox Christians, Buddhists and Hindus".

   The American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS) 2001 – which had a sample size of 50,000 people, from 50 states – found that there were then approximately 55,000 Scientologists.

   So, they're shrinking, not growing. And the 8 million number they've been throwing around for over a decade is laughable.

   

9. Anonymous

   Aug 16th, 2009

   It still terrifies me to this day that the Scientologists thought I had a pretty good personality when I took the test. Of course, they still thought Scientology could help me get even better.

   Does that make a sociopath on par with Hubbard himself?

   

10. Anonymous

    Aug 16th, 2009

    Awesome report. Thank you for doing this. Funny thing is if they had known you were a Psychologist, you wouldn't have gotten through the front door.

    

11. barb

    Aug 16th, 2009

    I love this piece! Yes, it's a scam to convince naive, trusting people that
    1. Scientologists are experts on the mind

    2. You are messed up and they can fix you for a fee.

    I, too, was at the party where Larry Anderson came out of the closet. He was a very, very happy guy! It seems that the happiest Scientologists are the ones who have left.

    

12. Anonymous

    Aug 16th, 2009

    Many thanks for exposing their sales tactics for what they are. I fell for them over 30 years ago and it sent me on a very regretful course. Good to see the light shined on these guys.

    

13. Anonymous

    Aug 16th, 2009

    I don't understand how Scientology justifies a "personality test," as anything to do with it being a religion.

    It is as if Scientology is screening people for how vulnerable they are, and how much money they have to spend. What a fraud. And so crass!

    

14. Tom

    Aug 16th, 2009

    You are obviously acting as an agent for the cyberterrorist group “Anonymous”. You should be honest about your true intentions for attacking Scientology in this article, which is that you do not want people to get better and want to impede the creation of a saner planet.

    Given that you adhere to the pseudo-science of “Psychiatry” it does not surprise me. I implore the readers of this blog to ignore the Psychs and their agents such as apostate, disgruntled “ex-Scientologists” and the internet hoodlums “Anonymous”.

    To learn more or help The Church Scientology in the global obliteration of Psychiatry visit http://www.cchr.org.

    

15. cameronreilly

    Aug 16th, 2009

    Great report Fritz. But Father Bob belongs to the biggest and scariest cult of all time – the Catholics. They are far scarier than the COS. They've been at it a lot longer too.

    

16. Formerly Fooled

    Aug 17th, 2009

    Good work! I see that one of the scientology front group wolves has come out of the woods to attack you and claim you are a member of "Anonymous", lol. So sad these people are indoctrinated to not think analytically.

    Speaking of marketing and front groups, you would be shocked at what Scientology's Narconon is doing to market it's program in order to lure people into Scientology. Contact me at formerlyfooled at yahoo.com if you'd like a summary of THAT scam.
    Meantime, enjoy the rippling effect of your excellent article.
    Mary McConnell
    advocate for victims of Scientology's Narconon scam

    

17. Anonymous

    Aug 17th, 2009

    I visited the CCHR exhibition on George St, Sydney trying to see if they would be open about their intentions and their link with Scientology. However to no luck. They didn't mention that they were set up by the Scientology group when I questioned an organiser about how the exhibition was funded.

    It is a shame that they parade themselves as a "church" but we do have to be careful to criticise members of the cult as they obviously have issues and need help, trying to argue logically with a member it is going to be hard to convince they they have been sucked in.

    I live next door to 2 members of the Scientology group and it's interesting to watch how persuasive other members are to make sure they attend class sometimes shouting and knocking on their door to wake up and get to "class."

    I have a huge curiosity as to what actually happens in their "classes" with large groups of members leaving the building at 2am in the morning on weekdays.

    How do members make money as it doesn't seem like any of them hold full times jobs? Anyone ever worked with a member?

    Religion shouldn't cost money.

    

18. Nick Dalla Riva

    Aug 17th, 2009

    Wow. Now this brings back memories. Circa 1984 – the year not the book. Exactly the same experience. Only I was a teenager on a day off from school visiting the city from the burbs. I wasn't so impressionable and actually did the test to pass some time in the day. As a result I received probably 3 direct mail packs each year, from COS members, for the next 20 years. Without fail. The most persisitent DM campaign ever.

    

19. Gus

    Aug 17th, 2009

    Fritz – i so want you to do AMWAY now!

    

20. Anonymous

    Aug 17th, 2009

    Fritz- Fabulous and insightful posting. You hit the nail right on the head with everything.

    IF I could ask one thing of you…Would you be able to post the graphics (Personality Test, Auspoll results) in a larger size/resolution? It would be much appreciated, as they could potentially be quite useful in the future.

    Thanks again for your posting!

    

21. Anonymous

    Aug 17th, 2009

    Nice, but the only difference between a cult and a religion is the number of followers. All religions do exactly the same things you talk about, and one you missed. Indoctrinating kids, get them early.

    

22. Fritz Bachen

    Aug 17th, 2009

    Thank you all for your comments. Very interesting to hear about Larry Anderson leaving. From what I have heard their retention methods are much more scarey than their recruitment methods.

    @Tom that website you are from is fantastic. Really quite radically different from anything I've seen before.

    @CameronRielly a key differences between a religion and a cult is disclosure. If you join the catholic church you kind of know what you are up for. Also Father Bob will happily wax lyrical about the issues with the Catholic church – that same level of honesty and self disclosure is not evident with cults (I'm not catholic by the way).

    @formerlyfooled I look forwards to reading about your experiences.

    @Gus it's on the list – but a few other projects to get to first. Thanks for the suggestion.

    

23. Fritz Joseph

    Aug 17th, 2009

    Kudos.

    Fritz, your Forensic Shopping excursions are a great read and also highly insightful. It’s Mystery Shopping but with a Naked Twist! I eagerly anticipate your next offerings – indeed, I wonder what will come next … sex? tick (AMI). Religion? tick (COS). Politics maybe? In fact, all the things you’re not supposed to talk about at the dinner party table!

    Keep trying to keep them honest

    

24. Anonymous

    Aug 18th, 2009

    Fritz, you are getting satirical (or loony) attention at http://www.rantrave.com in an article called "Put another shrink on the barbie, cobber."

    Great blog, btw.

    

25. Fritz Bachen

    Aug 19th, 2009

    Thanks all for participating. I would also say to those who are not in a cult to not come down heavily on those who are.

    People in a cult need love and support – not ridicule. They are just trying to get by and their weaknesses have been exploited. They are not stupid, of lower intelligence, or weak minded. They have simply been taken advantage of.

    If you know of anyone in a cult, or are responding to people online who obviously please don't make them feel even worse about themselves or their plight – it wont work.

    To the last person who mentioned the rantandrave site – thx that was a great read!

    

26. Anonymous

    Aug 19th, 2009

    check this out if you haven't already:
    http://www.rantrave.com/Rant/Put-another-shrink-on-the-barbie-Cobber.aspx

    someone has already written a retort:
    http://www.inquisitr.com/33716/rant-rave-in-bed-with-scientology-heres-the-proof/

    quite the hornet's nest you've stirred up. well done, Fritz.

    

27. Anonymous

    Aug 22nd, 2009

    "To learn more or help The Church Scientology in the global obliteration of Psychiatry visit http://www.cchr.org."

    "…help The Church Scientology in the global obliteration of Psychiatry…"

    "…global obliteration of Psychiatry…"

    And then who will they go after? Who else will they blame for the world's ills?

    

28. Gabriel Grossman

    Aug 25th, 2009

    Fascinating post. I really like your writing style and I've already added you to my google reader.

    The person you made mention of at the end, Raphael Aaron, I have actually met before. Back when I was in high school, he addressed my class – he's related to one of my old classmates – on the subject of cults and just how easy it is to be sucked into one.

    Having been an in institution myself for 1.5 years which I wouldn't necessarily call a cult but which does exhibit some of the traits you outlined in your article, I can definitely see where he is coming from.

    Look forward to reading more from you.

    

29. Fritz Bachen

    Aug 25th, 2009

    Thanks Gabriel. Glad you been exposed to the work of RA – he's doing fantastic work. The institution you've been involved in sounds interesting. Read 'The culting of brands' if you want to see how marketers apply the techniques of cults.

    

30. jemster

    Aug 31st, 2009

    this is better than good. It's also very important work.

    Good stuff Fritz

    

31. Fritz Bachen

    Sep 1st, 2009

    Hi Jemster – cults must hate social media. Transparency is their enemy.

    

32. Anonymous

    Sep 6th, 2009

    I just came across this and wanted to say thanks for doing this investigation. I used to be involved in the cult, and luckily I escaped. You and your family stay safe. Scientology doesn't deal kindly with critics.

    

33. Fritz Bachen

    Sep 26th, 2009

    @anon thanks for your words of advice and support. However, as yet I have heard nothing from the scientologists – and beleive that reports about them being heavy handed to people who are critical are grossly exagerated, possibly to aid with the suppression of information.

    

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About Me

Fritz Bachen is a Consumer Psychologist and Founding Partner at Naked Communications. Fritz can be seen, read or heard at; The Gruen Transfer, ABC Radio (Sunday nights), Adnews columnist, as well as The Australian, Cleo, Mumbrella, Shop Till You Drop and so on. He speaks at numerous conferences on marketing, ideas, contemporary culture, and consumer behaviour. Fritz has degress in clinical psychology and commerce (marketing). A registered psychologist and has worked in private practice, forensic settings, advertising (Saatchi & Saatchi) and marketing consultancy (Added Value). He was also state under 12 chess champion on WA, and has a board game called The Analyst selling well in the Benelux countries.

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