Kim Duthie: Just because you can doesn’t mean you should
KIM DUTHIE is the 17 year old schoolgirl of St Kilda footy players photo fame / shame. It’s a story that puts nearly all involved to shame. There are four key players; Broadcast Media, Social Media, Kim Duthie, and us. All have played a role in her dramatic fall from a normal life (I can only imagine how aspirational normal feels when you don’t have it). All may be responsible for even more tragedy if we don’t show some restraint.
The way I see it working is like this. A psychologically unwell girl demands attention. Broadcast media happily obliges parading her (and family) in a cage through the streets on a Sunday night. The social media crew with their front row seats hurl vomit, vitriol and metaphorical shit at the poor girl. The rest of us stand and watch tut tutting. Then psychologically damaged girl – now smeared in the towns vitriol, but with the attention she craves demands it happens again, and again broadcast media provides the platform, social media the abuse and we all shrug our shoulders. So what can the key players do to stop it happening again (and again)?
Broadcast media? Show some bloody restraint. Simple. Obviously you have a business to run, and that involves chasing ratings. However, even Kerry Packer pulled a show or two when it failed to meet the basics of human dignity. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Social media? I’ve written about the damaging impact of social media here. I’ve suggested cyber-bullying needs to be checked. She has received countless death threats, and the most damaging comments I could ever imagine attacking everything from the way she looks, her parents, to her morals. Check it online if you want to be mortified. To the people making these postings. There are a few things to ask yourself a) where is your anger coming from?, b) think about the harm you’re doing to another human being (are you proud of your actions?), c) show some compassion for someone who is not well. Above all again show some restraint. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Kim Duthie: Kim has courted the media since this began with many on and offline appearances. She’s changed her Twitter account from @its_k_isabella to @its_k_isabellas to @kimduthieworld in an effort to shake off the vitriol from other Twitter users. She started a blog, but quickly after disabled comments as so many were grossly negative. She’s threatened to kill her followers “I’ll slit your throats” before deleting the threats and posting happy messages the following day. She posts semi-naked photos of herself and naked photos of others. Lies about being pregnant, and has an alleged affair. To a layperson she would be ‘an immature girl who is all over the shop’, to a psychologist she’s a mix of personality disorders, with pressing mental health issues. All of which need addressing – urgently. Kim Duthie, again show some restraint. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Finally there is US, and our mistaken belief that people have complete control over their own destiny. We don’t. Nobody is born saying I want to lead a tragic, lonely, dysfunctional life. People make decisions with the information and resources they have available – and yes they make bad ones. People don’t learn from mistakes – we learn from success. Hence the people making the mistakes will keep on making them – much to the frustration of the working class shock jocks who think ‘well I’ve made it, so should they’.
We’ve paraded Kim in front of the masses. Smeared her in vitriol and spat her out. She needs help – this will be difficult and complex to implement. Those who have exploited her / harmed her the most are probably in the best position to put something in place. Think they will?
Fritz Bachen is a Consumer Psychologist and Founding Partner at Naked Communications. Fritz can be seen, read or heard at; The Gruen Transfer, ABC Radio (Sunday nights), Adnews columnist, as well as The Australian, Cleo, Mumbrella, Shop Till You Drop and so on. He speaks at numerous conferences on marketing, ideas, contemporary culture, and consumer behaviour. Fritz has degress in clinical psychology and commerce (marketing). A registered psychologist and has worked in private practice, forensic settings, advertising (Saatchi & Saatchi) and marketing consultancy (Added Value). He was also state under 12 chess champion on WA, and has a board game called The Analyst selling well in the Benelux countries.
Comments
Ken
Apr 17th, 2011I think the most important aspect is how she got to that point, because it is a pattern that apparently is not uncommon, although hers is an extreme case. Someone who is good at sport, has a very ordered life, and most of her self-esteem comes from her success in sport. Probably thought the Olympics was a possibility. Then reality that she isn't quite good enough and she looks for something to replace it but there is nothing. So she finds a successful sportsman and sex. Lots of alternatives such as alcohol, drugs and lots of sex, but she has chosen one that really gives her a lot of attention, but not of the right sort. It is probably going to get a lot worse for her.
Anonymous
Apr 17th, 2011Nice article. Shes a mess and needs support.
Anonymous
Apr 17th, 2011I disagree with your assumption that there is a mental health issue here. In reviewing the timeline of this girl's actions, I am convinced that this sorry saga is planned. Far from being a victim of social media, she has manipulated it well. I ask people to check this young woman's bank balance before laying any blame on mainstream media.
Saddened
Apr 21st, 2011I agree with much of your comments, especially that this sorry saga has been fuelled by media attention and social media outlets.
What is concerning though is the support she receives which makes her feel her hurtful actions to other people is o.k.
I feel for the innocent parties in all of this, and feel for other teenagers who observe all of her irrational behaviours and think that is how to be famous.
Agree she needs help, but it has been offered numerous times by many and is refused. What would you do if it was your daughter?
Fritz Bachen
Apr 22nd, 2011@ken some nice thoughts and beyond the authors ability to understand how she ended up in this state without talking to her. Agree she is likely to have an obsessive personality – drilled into her through sport. Of course lack of education, and dubious modelling also contribute.
@anonymous I disagree with what your saying and your logic. I don't know anyone who systematically sets out to destroy their lives.
@saddened very insightful, and you're right. I also feel like some of the vitriol people are expressing is because they are keen to punish the girl and show such abhorent behaviour doesn't go unpunished. If she was my daughter I would give her lots of love and support whilst relentlessly trying to get her psychological help. If it got to this stage I'd be tempted to finance her to move countries for a year or so, and come back when things have cooled down.
Anonymous
Apr 26th, 2011Id like to see how much money she has made out of all of this..I think that will show why she has pushed it so far..
Anonymous
May 29th, 2011I believe Kim has Borderline Personality Disorder and is in urgent need of psychological assistance. My view is the media are partially to blame for feeding on a very unwell young woman. Borderlines are notoriously difficult, experience massive mood swings and act out in self destructive ways. I should know… I have disorder. Treatment is available. Kim please seek help. Spectrum is a good start.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2011ive seen whats been said on twitter and facebook, ive also seen what she has been saying and her actions. the media has to take some responsibility for encouraging this behavior further than it needed to be. anonymity is granted to protect the child from identification from in media for a reason, she seems to have a histrionic personality disorder that would not be feed so easily if the anonymity was still in place, regardless if there was permission to lift it or not.social media is only HALF of the problem
Anonymous
May 30th, 2011I'd like to know why her parents aren't doing anything. Maybe they don't know about any of this and need to be told about it. Kim has pretended to be anorexic, pretended her parents are buying her a house, made out she was having a relationship with Brendan fevola (highly doubtful), said she slept on a park bench outside crown casino, the list goes on. I feel really sorry for her, it's obvious she has problems
Anonymous
Jun 10th, 2011Kim Duthie has all the hallmarks of borderline personality disorder. Chaotic. Unstable sense of self and reality. Lying. Manipulativeness. Desparation. Alternately over connecting then rejecting those she has relationships with. Impulsiveness, including self-harm, aggression and drug. She's almost a perfect case history of bpd. She needs help.
Anonymous
Jun 10th, 2011Puzzled parent:- Kim has taken everyone for a ride. And yes it appears she is unwell. Why are we all taking notice of this shit.
She should remain off limits now. She should be anonoymous now and when no one takes notice then maybe she will recover and seek help.
Fritz Bachen
Jun 12th, 2011to all anon comments. Agree. A sad state of afairs when everyone exploits the sick for entertainment.
By Viagra Online
Aug 20th, 2011Wow this is a nice information your life.Keep it up………………
Anonymous
Oct 5th, 2011Fritz, great blog. I'm a psych student & Duthie has fascinated me from a psych point of view from the get-go. Interesting to hear so many people assuming she has BPD – Histrionic has always come to mind for me.
What do you think?
muebles pontevedra
Oct 8th, 2011I found a great deal of helpful info here!
India Pharmacy
Oct 14th, 2011Well if she wanted attention she could get it on internet there's a lot people everyday on internet that don't have anything to do…. but well everyone is free to do whatever they want.
Trackbacks and Pingbacks
Leave a Comment